Last night, as I lay in bed at around two-ish in the morning—the witching hours—I turned over, and the moon's glow-y face peered in at me through the curtain, anointing me with its silvery magic. I basked in it. I did not hide from it. Unlike other nights when it made me feel irritated, I welcomed it.
In the morning, when I bumbled to the bathroom while my husband got the coffee brewing, the vision was in my head: I was sitting outside on a nice patio (no we don't have one of those), I'm writing on a laptop (nope, don't have one of those either). I've a straw summer hat on—looks like a cowgirl hat, because that's what I prefer—and there's birdsong around me, a small breeze keeping me comfortable and some trees in the backyard—it isn't important exactly what is there. What is important is how that vision made me feel. Happy. Content. I know something wonderful has happened so that I can do this.
I've been a writer for—well—decades we'll just say. When I was in my twenties, I had joined a writing circle. It was held in another state, and so I arranged to live in the author's house (at some point I hope to get this written as from my journal, into this site, so details will be coming here at some future point).
One of the questions the author asked me was “Where do you want to be in five years?”
Where do you think? I told him I envisioned myself as a published author, traveling around in an RV, or in my own house, living the writer's life. Or words to that effect.
So, this morning's vision is no surprise to me. I do this quite often. And you don't need to be a writer to use what is called “Law of Attraction” to make it work. You want something, you need to take a couple minutes out of your day, envision that thing, but the trick is to hold it and the emotions you feel as you think about this one thing. Do this for the next week, every day—when you're alone, no one invading on your quiet. Find a nice place preferably outside, but the bathroom works just as well! Or before you go to bed. But you need to visualize and hold it and the emotions you know you'll feel when you get that one thing (be it clothes, money, a job, car, a house, etc.)
Then, as the days progress, note in a journal (or on your computer), exactly what you see happening. Did some job open up that you've had your eye on? Was there a sale at your favorite store and you went shopping and got everything you wanted?
As a writer, we know the angst of rejection, our hopes dashed when they come. But we don't want to dwell on that. No. Don't go there. It doesn't help. I know. Been there done it, and in the words of Buffy, “I'm moving on.”
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Friday, May 28, 2010
It Was a Beautiful Day
The sun was out, warm, 70's. I went back to Granby, Colorado, thinking about the little place we would go and get breakfast, sat on tall chairs at tall tables. Hearing the men who were construction workers yammering about things. The breakfast there was hardy. Outside we could see the mountains. We planned our day. . .
And then reality would shoot me back.
I'm driving a frigging bus. Oh, damn.
I was in a good mood, for a while, and just had to keep going. It's just that way.
I knew exactly what I would be doing once I got home. I'd read through that section that the editor edited, and I thought it sounded pretty good. I really didn't want to sit on it all weekend. So, I sent it off.
I can't explain my feelings over this whole episode. I'm not excited, I'm not anxious, I don't know how to feel about it.
Times past I'd be nervous, I'd be despondent about whether or not this person thought my writing was good enough. Right now I'm in this "whatever" pose. Whatever will be will be, I guess.
So, the weekend is a long 3-day affair. I'm working tomorrow again. Bluckh! I'm hoping to get next Saturday off for a change. I hate working Saturdays, but it's money.
And then reality would shoot me back.
I'm driving a frigging bus. Oh, damn.
I was in a good mood, for a while, and just had to keep going. It's just that way.
I knew exactly what I would be doing once I got home. I'd read through that section that the editor edited, and I thought it sounded pretty good. I really didn't want to sit on it all weekend. So, I sent it off.
I can't explain my feelings over this whole episode. I'm not excited, I'm not anxious, I don't know how to feel about it.
Times past I'd be nervous, I'd be despondent about whether or not this person thought my writing was good enough. Right now I'm in this "whatever" pose. Whatever will be will be, I guess.
So, the weekend is a long 3-day affair. I'm working tomorrow again. Bluckh! I'm hoping to get next Saturday off for a change. I hate working Saturdays, but it's money.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Carrot Still Dangling
I could have said "still alive" or something like that, but that might imply that I've had a brush with death. Which I haven't. But maybe it would be true for the manuscript Vampire Ascending.
I've lost track as to how many times I've gone back and forth with this editor of an eBook publisher (I'll not name them here, to see what I've been up to go to Lorelei's Muse link below). But today I finally got e-mail from said editor that I should send her the revision back to her. Revision of part of my fist chapter.
That's what I'll be working on this week.
She's dangling a carrot in front of me. . .
Hope that she doesn't snatch it away.
I've lost track as to how many times I've gone back and forth with this editor of an eBook publisher (I'll not name them here, to see what I've been up to go to Lorelei's Muse link below). But today I finally got e-mail from said editor that I should send her the revision back to her. Revision of part of my fist chapter.
That's what I'll be working on this week.
She's dangling a carrot in front of me. . .
Hope that she doesn't snatch it away.
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Writer, Interrupted
It seems to me that I'm on a journey of discovery. The journey is quite rocky, full of hills, cliffs and even disastrous falls. At times I'm totally in the dark. I don't know where my next turn will be. And sometimes I come to a dead end.
I have to turn around and find my way back to the original path. And again, I never know where it will lead.
As a writer it is the journey that helps build who you are. All those pit-falls, dead ends, if they gained me nothing but make me a little stronger, and wiser for knowing better next time, then okay. I guess it was worth it.
I began writing more than 40 years ago. Wow. A life time. I don't feel my age some days--especially when I'm writing my favorite fantasies. But looking back, I wonder how the hell I came so far and made so little impact.
It's not to say I didn't actually accomplish a few things. At least I do have one book out there.
And I'm not finished yet. I'll let you know when I am.
I have to turn around and find my way back to the original path. And again, I never know where it will lead.
As a writer it is the journey that helps build who you are. All those pit-falls, dead ends, if they gained me nothing but make me a little stronger, and wiser for knowing better next time, then okay. I guess it was worth it.
I began writing more than 40 years ago. Wow. A life time. I don't feel my age some days--especially when I'm writing my favorite fantasies. But looking back, I wonder how the hell I came so far and made so little impact.
It's not to say I didn't actually accomplish a few things. At least I do have one book out there.
And I'm not finished yet. I'll let you know when I am.
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